Not far from the tree...

Who doesn’t know the proverb “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”?

I guess most people have heard of it and do understand what it means. Namely, that ancestry, genes and in the same way observational learning, truly matter. That, whether we are happy about it or not, some traits we do inherit from our parents/foster parent(s)/social environment, whilst we grow up being close to them, or else, apart.

Some traits will stay with us a lifetime.

This might be OK if it’s actually something we consider a virtue, but what if it’s bad?

Well, even if we are the apple in this proverbial scenario, it’s never the whole apple that is close to the tree! Let’s look at it this way: the apple is faulty, bad or rotten only in some places. Ok.

Now, there is one thing the proverb doesn’t say: It doesn’t tell us what to do.

So, we are the ones to choose whether:

-We walk around like that (half rotten) a whole lifetime,

-We chew on the bad part and swallow,

-We chew on the bad part and spit it out,

or:

We take a close look at it, cut the rotten part out and walk on.

What do you think is the healthiest solution? Getting it out of the system immediately? Well, it seems pretty simple at first glance but honestly…I couldn’t tell. Some things take time.


I do believe that some traits will teach you important things you need to learn. A few of these traits will make you work harder to achieve your goals (especially when it comes to being different). Some of these traits will keep you safe. Other traits you can be lucky to have. And certain traits you’ll learn to love, even though they put you through great pain.

All of these traits will make you, who you are.


Imperfect. And therefore perfect in every way.



In conclusion, the best way to become a perfectly imperfect apple/human being, is, to grow next to a healthy tree.


Especially in times like these, it's more significant than ever to be a positive role model. Children need a guide, someone, who shows them a direction and that can only be an adult, who knows the way.

A parent/caregiver, who's capable of keeping away a trait, which coheres with fear, is what any child could wish for.




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  Caroline Pitz | Heilpraktikerin für Psychotherapie  

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